I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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