Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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