Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
