i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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