We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
