Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
