They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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