We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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