thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
