hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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