Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
