Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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