I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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