I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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