where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
