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Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
