That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
