you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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