So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize