So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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