When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize