i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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