I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
