I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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