you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
