if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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