my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize