whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
