Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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