i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
