i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
