you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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