Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
