So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
