All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We have so much sex to catch up on
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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