went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Barsexuality is the new black.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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