Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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