so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
