so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
