Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
