It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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