We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
