shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
