I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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