Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
