and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
