how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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