The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
