At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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