If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
