I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
