U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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