meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
