I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
love makes seman taste better
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
