the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
