HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
