definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
