So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I love you. Go after that dick
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize