The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
