you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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