I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
