he shaved USA in his pubs
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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