White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
