i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
