You don't have asthma, your pregnant
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize